Wrinklypants

I just finished reading Tina Fey's book, Bossypants. I loved it! I laughed erratically most of the way through, to the great concern of my children. If laughing at inanimate objects is all it takes to start the kids whispering about checking their good old mom into some kind of a program, well, then this may be my last blog. Do they let 6-year-olds commit their own mothers?

I digress. Bossypants ushers readers into Tina's life, and lets us both hold hands with her and laugh while also feeling like we have, just a bit, been bossed around. Since a good mix of humor and self-loathing is how I choose to fill most of my days, I was totally entranced by the idea of being sarcastic, funny, and being respected for both of those things. Now, I do get respect in the classroom for being sarcastic, but lets face it, teenagers corner the sarcastic market and an overtired mortgage paying mother of three can't really compete with hormones and unlimited free time to plan comebacks. Seriously, am I the last person in the world to know what photobombing means? You know you're not cool when you have to google "fml" and then spend half an hour reading the 2011 stock outlook for Finite Matters Lmt. before realizing the true meaning of the acronym.

One question lingers in my mind after reading the book... does she really iron her underwear? Ironing is something that I just refuse to do, along with brussel sprout eating and waxing certain areas. If she can find time to iron not only the outer layer of her clothes but also layer number two, then I feel that she could have answers to so many of the other questions in life that confuse me:

Tina, tell me why my children don't eat without a fight... ever.
Tina, explain to me why if I plan something I will dread it, but if I spontaneously decide to do something, I usually love it?
Tina, why do room fresheners smell so good in the store but smell like epileptic perfume saleswomen when I plug them in at my house?
Tina, how can I build time for ironing into my schedule when toothbrushing is often outsourced to a stick of Extra?

Boss away, Tina Fey! It only makes us love you more while simultaneously going online to make sure we are in good standing with our local libraries. Sadly, I am not.